Time Out

So today I was reading this article on one of my favorite website babble. And I was a little excited to see it there. It inspired me to write about our parenting beliefs and style. Although I know this is not for everyone nor do I think that we are always right, but this is what works for us! We do not Spank or give Time outs. There are times (a lot) that make me want to and I think I would feel so much better, but thats just it, it serves the satisfaction of the punisher more than it provides any rehabilitative effect for the punished. Spanking doesn't teach children the difference between right and wrong; it just teaches them to avoid getting spanked. We try to reinforce the positive, talk through the negative and use No Labels during this process {good boy, bad boy}.

Labeling is something that we do with out even acknowledging it."Oh my child is shy" when really your child is just more observant and probably doesn't like being called "shy", but eventually they will start to act out those labels even if it isn't who they really are. "I might as well not try and talk to this person because I'm shy." Good or bad labels can stay with a child for life. Labeling is something I catch myself doing all the time and has been really challenging for me in my personal life as well.

We try to respect our children as independent people with there own feelings and reasons for doing things. There are times when we have family visiting and they ask our kids for kisses sometimes they willingly give them out and other times they don't. Usually that doesn't go over well with grandparents. They will persistently ask, then they will try reverse psychology "then I don't want a kiss" when really they do. Which makes me laugh because really when you think about it who is the kiss for and why is it such a big deal. We tell our children "it's ok if you don't feel like giving kisses right now". They should never be forced to do something especially when it involves there own bodies! Isn't that what we teach them when they are older? Respect your body? Well it starts when they are young and we as parents need to respect them.